Too Heavy to Skydive Reviews Jerry Sandusky’s Defense Team

Wow.  So since I am a lowly blogger with enough time on his hands to sit idly at home and watch Sportscenter four times in a row everyday I couldn’t help but catch the coverage of Joe Amendola, the defense lawyer for Jerry Sandusky, addressing the media about his client’s decision to skip out on the preliminary hearing for his 52 counts of being the goddamn devil.  Now usually I try to shun all forms of legitimate journalism in favor of sports coverage and the occasional rerun of Just Shoot Me, but after watching Mr. Amendola bumble his way through what amounted to a long-form attempt to simply say “My client isn’t evil, he’s just a creepy old weirdo” I decided it was time to dig a little deeper.

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Too Heavy to Skydive Reviews Left Handed Quarterbacks

I love watching terrible quarterbacks play in the NFL.  Not because I’m jealous of NFL athletes, or even because I’m just a dick who thinks failure and shame are delightful (though admittedly I am, and I do). In fact, my overwhelming joy upon seeing miserable QB play stems from legitimate respect for these men who have found a way to make enormous salaries being bad at something.  Yes, relative to the general populous a bad NFL QB is still in the upper 99.8% talent-wise, but relative to the other 105 athletes on the field with them at any given time, that same QB is just plain dreadful and often times their career will turn out to be longer than most of those men.

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Too Heavy to Skydive Interviews a BCS Official

You can’t spell “BCS” without “BS” (nor my initials, incidentally), and college football’s Bowl Championship Series in the midst of what may be its most laughable “championships” ever, with numerous teams who are clearly undeserving of their spots placed in games they just shouldn’t be while better, more deserving teams have to settle for consolation prizes like the Fiesta Bowl. It’s akin to watching your jerk friend bang the head cheerleader while you, an honest and hardworking individual, get stuck with the head of trumpet line. To help sort out some questions, I was able to get a phone interview with an anonymous BCS official. Here is the transcript of said interview:

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